I hear you, and I can understand how exhausting it must feel to carry the thought that your presence does not matter… that maybe the world would function the same without you in it.
This is not drama.
This is not attention-seeking.
This is a tired heart asking for rest.
When a human says, “I want to disappear,” it is rarely about geography. It is about relief.
Relief from feeling unseen.
Relief from feeling unnecessary.
Relief from always being available but not feeling emotionally held in return.
It is very natural to feel this way when your need for belonging has been repeatedly bruised.
As humans, we are wired for connection and attachment.
Belonging is not a luxury; it is a survival signal.
In ancient times, not belonging to a group meant danger. The brain would get hijacked by fear, imagining all the ways survival could be threatened. That same ancient wiring still lives inside us.
So when you feel excluded, emotionally neglected, or invisible, your nervous system reacts as if something is wrong with your survival. That heaviness in your chest? That urge to withdraw? That is your biology trying to protect you.
A Human Feels this not because they are weak.
A Human Feels this because they are wired to need connection.
That’s why I say:
If you are not expressing the uneasy feeling of being invisible, you are storing it... and that gets heavy!
When we store it long enough, it begins to whisper:
“Maybe I am extra.”
“Maybe I am a burden.”
“Maybe I should just remove myself.”
That’s why disappearing becomes a self-protective fantasy. It feels like control in a space where you have felt powerless.
But inside the wish to disappear, there is usually another wish hiding quietly:
“I want to be chosen.”
“I want someone to notice my silence.”
“I want to matter.”
That longing never dies. It only gets covered by exhaustion.
Let us breathe here.
Consider this conversation with yourself:
“Dear self, I see how tired you are of performing, of carrying, of being strong for everyone but yourself. I am sorry for trying to erase you just because others failed to see you. You are not a burden. You are a human with unmet needs. Dear myself, can you forgive me for abandoning you in your loneliness? I choose to sit with you instead of disappearing from you.”
Sometimes, when we store the belief that we are “too much” or “not enough,” it creates a fog. And in that fog, we may take steps we later regret.
The self-protecting rule
So here is a self protecting rule your Psychologist wants you to follow:
When it starts feeling foggy, reach out. Even if it feels awkward. Even if you don’t know what to say. Even if all you can say is, “I’m not okay.”
Belonging does not always begin with many people.
Sometimes it begins with one safe person.
One therapeutic space where you are not tolerated, but welcomed.
And if these thoughts of disappearing are persistent, intense, or connected to harming yourself, please treat that as a signal—not a secret.
Reach out to a trusted person, a mental health professional, or a crisis helpline in your area. You deserve support in real time, not silence.
You do not have to disappear to feel peace.
Sometimes, you only need to be seen.
I am here. Express yourself to me.
📩 ExpressToAnmol@gmail.com
Your Psychologist,
Ambidextrous Anmol
Did you feel heard?
I’d love to know how this post made you feel, and if there’s something I could do better, please let me know.
