Haunted by Flashbacks, Alone & Unloved? Heal Your Past Today
I hear you, and I can understand how difficult it would be for you to go through that day after day, hoping it would be different one day. Questioning daily when the past will remain where it belongs and no longer bother your present. Yet, it follows, and without support, you feel alone on an Earth surrounded by millions of people like us.
As human beings, being alone and unloved is the most painful because they do not support life. But what makes us believe we can’t do anything about it?
Of course, we can!
That being said, addressing such deep emotions is best done in a counseling session, where a psychologist like me can offer unwavering support and equip you with the social and psychological resources you need to move forward at your own pace.
Let's delve deeper into this blog 🌱
ON FEELING UNLOVED
I truly believe that love should be given unconditionally, at least in the initial years when we gain awareness.
But reality is not always that favorable to us.
Also, love is the highest form of giving—one that not everyone is capable of offering, and one that not everyone receives when they need it the most. Not always externally.
That’s heartbreaking because love is what makes life continue on Earth 🌍
So, what can you do? You already know love cannot be forced, and I’m glad you do. But here’s something important—we each have a reservoir of love within us. This reservoir is called self-love.
You may wonder: if we all have it, why don’t we feel it?
Why are we still thirsty for love outside, even though a well exists within us?
Because that well needs to be activated. Which is not powered by an Electric Motor but by persistent Empathy and Maintenance.
We get love from this well when we:
🌱Acknowledge and appreciate our efforts
🌱 Speak to ourselves with kindness, not criticism
🌱 Support ourselves in our growth instead of judging our shortcomings
🌱 Take care of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being
When you do this, your inner well doesn’t just quench your thirst—it overflows, nourishing the world around you.
This sounds hopeful, right? But sometimes, blockages keep us from accessing that well.
Where do these blockages come from?
We learn to love ourselves by watching our caregivers love us. If they couldn’t provide that steady foundation, gaps are created—gaps that need conscious healing, like the conscious moment you are having right now, as you read this.
That’s why I said love should be given unconditionally in our early years, when we are gaining awareness and setting standards for how we treat ourselves.
Yet, we can always improve, unlearn the old ways that no longer serve us, and embrace healthier ones in the present.
Take conscious steps now. Identify and clear those blockages with compassion. And remember, you don’t have to do this alone—a compassionate psychologist can assist you in this journey, with you toward a better you.
ON FEELING ALONE
It’s deeply painful to feel alone, a feeling that can seem overwhelming regardless of how many people are physically nearby. This powerful sense of isolation often highlights a difference, a kind of gap, that forms when people don’t show up in the way we consciously or unconsciously hope or expect.
This gap—expectation versus reality—intensifies our sense of isolation.
We may think, “I have no one,” but in truth, we might have people—just not in the way we imagined.
Right there is our expectation shaping our reality.
People may be present, but they will be present in their own ways, which may not always align with our expectations. Yet, we can work around this by practicing Mindful Expectations.
We can ask ourselves:
📝Why am I expecting this?
📝 What exactly am I expecting?
📝 From whom, and why?
📝 Are they capable or willing to fulfill this expectation?
Once you ask these questions and gain clarity, you’ll notice that people will be there in their capacity, depending on their agreeableness, consent, and the mutual understanding that you develop with them over time.
Now these things take time. That’s why the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself.
Why does your relationship with yourself matter?
Because it sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.
As social beings, we have been trained to behave a certain way around others—the way by which we are “acceptable.” That is very important for us in the functioning and maintenance of our social connections. But deep down, we don’t crave just connections; we crave authentic connections.
Have you ever been taught how to behave when no one is watching?
No. Because that’s not society’s concern.
But it should be yours! That’s why I encourage you to develop a strong relationship with yourself.
You spend every second of your life with yourself. And no matter how you behave in social settings, your true self will always be reflected in your actions, words, and energy.
People can always sense authenticity. And if you hide your real self because you don’t like it, that’s okay—you can work on it. But what’s not okay is believing that your flaws define you.
As a human, you are inherently capable of growth, healing, and love.
A little bit of self-compassion, self-love can bring out this side of yours that is not only admirable but also inspiring to others.
And if you ever feel stuck, working with a psychologist can help. And let me make this very clear—as long as you are human and on Earth, there’s nothing that could be alien about your challenges and struggles. That means you are capable of improving, healing, and evolving into a better version of yourself.
ADDRESSING THE FLASHBACKS
That was the lightning point of the one who expressed their uneasiness.
Lemme tell you this—your past may haunt you, but it does not have the power to define you as long as you are working on yourself. And when there is some support for you, it would do wonders.
When you collaborate with a psychologist, they will assist you in:
🌜Process those haunting memories
🌜Address the emotions and triggers beneath them
🌜Strengthen your ability to outgrow the past
I will encourage you to start by creating a safe, compassionate space within yourself. It will make you feel secure within and facilitate the process.
Healing your relationship with yourself is about:
🌱Building inner resources
🌱Healing past wounds
🌱Creating a strong foundation for resilience
Wherever you are, start from there.
Many people who now have fulfilling relationships once stood exactly where you are today.
The key? Investing in their own well-being.
You can embark on this path that leads to your well-being, with the right support.
Seek, and you shall find.
You mentioned you have forgotten how to feel like your old self.
I assure you—start today, stay persistent, and soon, your old self will greet you with a smile, proud of how far you’ve come. If you’d like guidance along the way, you’re just a ‘Hi’ away.
Your Psychologist,
Ambidextrous Anmol
